I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
