Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Randomize