Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
