I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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