remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
