honey bunches of taint.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
