Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
