He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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