Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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