Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
