is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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