Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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