If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
