Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
