I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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