Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
