Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
