I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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