WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
