Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
