my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
