No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
