I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
