Moan for me like Helen Keller
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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