break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
