it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
