I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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