spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
