I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
