We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
