Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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