im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
