I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
