bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
