He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
