idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
