are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
