okay pat passed out under dana's car
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
