I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
