whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
