but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
