she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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