Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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