had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
