I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
