Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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