11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
