i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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