I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hippo gnu deer
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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