what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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